and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
