so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
