Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
