He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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