Duck Duck Cougar?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
