Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
