I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He better not be in your backpack
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
