I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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