Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
