I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
