Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
