Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
