i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize