Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
