we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
