This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
