You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he fucked my hip out of place.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
