Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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