I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
