I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
