he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
