yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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