if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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