we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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