I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
