I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
