im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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