WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
