just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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