no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
