Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
And the cops told us we were all naked.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
