Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
