I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize