she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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