just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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