It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
