yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
