She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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