We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
