No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Congratulations! We have a period
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
