dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it hurts more in the daytime
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
be right there i have to get my cape
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize