I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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