you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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