HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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