He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize