Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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