will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She's the barista slut.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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