you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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