go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
