Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
