According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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