New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
