Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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