thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
