He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i love accidental penises.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
