I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It's like God shit irony all over that family
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
No subtext here. People are naked.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
