She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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