Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
