the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
